TRUE LOVE

Date: Mon Jun 11 20:40:08 2007

True love is oft sought for, but seldom found. When studies are done on the happiness of people in relationships, so often there is something unfulfilled, something incomplete, something regretted. Polls repeatedly find that people SAY that they are happily married, but the predominance of pornography, Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues, a plethora of sex-oriented television programs, a declining but still high divorce rate, and the all too high incidence of adultery, whether in the mind or the body, tell a different story. This is not just a province of the young raised in a permissive environment. A pastor who recently preached a controversial sequence of messages on ìPure Sexî reported that a couple in their eighties came forward to be delivered from pornography. There has been a startling increase in MARRIED couples using either video or printed pornography. We are exceedingly grateful for the many wonderful marriages there are, but for far too many people, non-Christian AND Christian, all is not well in the marriage bed.

The rapid increase in prenuptial agreements is an indicator that it is not ìtil death do us partî but ìtil ëirreconcilableí differences become too much of a bother do us part.î As an architect, I am well aware of the alarming trend toward SEPARATE suites for husband and wife. Builders are being advised that 60% of new homes within ten years will have SEPARATE bedrooms for husband and wife (or for fornicating or gay partners, which are increasing forces in the housing market). Ostensibly, it is due to snoring, different work schedules, etc., but how does sleeping in different rooms contribute to intimacy? Where does giving oneís life for another come in? Where does the give and take come in? It seems like marriage is really becoming more like a courting couple that copulates a couple times a week when one or the other stays over at the otherís house. Marriage adds some legal protections and benefits including a more comfortable situation in which to raise a child. None of this mirrors the idyllic concept of true love in marriage that God inaugurated with Adam and Eve in the wonderful Garden of Eden a few thousand years ago.

God is love. He did not have to create it. He transfers it to willing human beings. Adam did not have a beauty contest in which to pick a wife. He had no choice of hair color, eye color, skin color, personality, profession, or anything. God brought Eve to him and Adam accepted her. You might say, well, that was then and this is now. Then, while Adam had no choice, the fact is that Adam was DELIGHTED with Eve. Despite their sins, they had an enduring marriage with a plethora of children. And while we do not know exactly how many children they have or how long Eve lived, the Jewish encyclopedia cites extra-Biblical texts enumerating 63 children and that Eve outlived Adam, dying six days later of grief. In any event, it is likely they stayed together as a married couple for over 900 years. While there is no record Adam and Eve truly repented, but at least during the time of Seth and his children, men began to call upon the Lord.

God has a true love for you, but most people donít want to leave it to God. They would rather make their own decision. They figure, ìOh no, God will choose someone ugly, someone with a voice I canít stand, or someone I would be embarrassed to be seen with.î If you are single and thatís the way you feel, you have to ask yourself why you perceive God in that way. Do you think he doesnít love you? Do you think he is out to spoil your life? Do you believe he has bad taste? Marriage is not only for the purpose of bearing children. Marriage is also the most intimate of all human relationships. God will usually join together two people who are rather different ñ the man may be aggressive and the woman more retiring or vice versa. God wants balance in a relationship. The body of Christ is Godís idea. Christian Marriage is a subset of the Body of Christ. God will put people with different gifts together. The husband may have the gift of discernment and the gift of hospitality. The wife may have the gift of prophecy and the gift of administration. God will put them together so that they have four gifts operating in their marriage ñ and he may well give them both an additional gift ñ the gift of tongues for example, that they share in common. How much richer a marriage will this be than one in which husband and wife each have the identical gift or gifts?

God knows who in this world of 6 billion people, and perhaps 500,000,000 potential partners of the opposite sex, is the ideal for you. One Christian gentleman found out Godís choice for him lived in the Philippines, and God brought them together and they were married. The family was delighted with him. If he depended on church singlesí events or E-Harmony.com, he would have missed Godís choice for him. My wife and I took psychological profiles a few years ago, and those indicated we were totally incompatible! In October, we plan to celebrate our 33rd anniversary, and have two wonderful children. It is a good thing we let God, rather than psychological profiles decide.

We see these same tendencies in churches today ñ people gravitate towards those with the same gifts as opposed to being joined together with those whose gifts are complimentary. People come to churches to BE SERVED, not to SERVE and offer their lives as LIVING SACRIFICES, holy and acceptable to God, which is their reasonable service. People analyze the church, get into the most minute variations of doctrines, and make decisions on where to go based upon sermon or musical style, personalities, and every possible alternative to the simple will and direction of the Holy Spirit in their lives.

Whether in the choice of church, profession, friendships, or marriage, we need to let God decide. God is love, and the love he transfers to us in our church, business, friendship and marriage relationships will be true love. Not love without challenge. Not love without conflict. Not love without testing. But true love. lasting love. deeply satisfying love. Praise the Lord!